After 5 years of spending my days taking care of my grandson, those days are over. no more play with cars, digging in the sand, splashing in the creek, eating bunny pasta or watching True and the Magic Kingdom.
I’ve been watching my darling grandson since he was a baby. We’ve had a lot of fun together having all sorts of adventures. But now he’s five and starting Kindergarten, so that job is done. They don’t need me anymore. They’ve got it covered.
Of course this isn’t a surprise. I’ve always know that this day would come. But I was envisioning it a lot different.
Like no pandemic.
Now when I could go back to my morning coffee club, that isn’t happening anymore. Now that I could travel, it isn’t advised. Now when I could go out and find a part-time job, the job market is changed drastically and it’s risky for, let’s say, my age group.
So right now any big decisions about how I want to live my life going forward, where I want to live and what I want to do, the people I’ve been promising to visit for years, places I want to see, challenges I’d still like to take on, almost all of those things are going to have to wait a little longer.
I’ll still see my grandsons, all three of them. I’ll sitll be involved with my family and be there to help out. But now I have some space to grow into a new me, this wiser more mature version I find myself to be.
In this slowed down sheltered existence I have some time to be more fully in my own life, to develop deeper friendships, to work on some creative projects, to do some self-nurturing, to delve a little more into subjects I want to learn more about, to take on some personal challenges.
But at the same time I must figure out how to find the things I need and want in an altered landscape. A social circle, a noble cause, an income!
I have a life ahead of me, my next life. There is still plenty of time to accomplish great things.
Right after this intermission.